By Alex van der Bijl
A visit to an ophthalmologist in Amsterdam didn’t yield any immediate results. I was referred to the military hospital in Utrecht, where there was a specialist. Tests showed that a branch of a blood vessel in my right eye was pushing the macula (the focal point of the eye) slightly to the side. The diagnosis was that it was a benign abnormality that was best left untreated.
Gradually, I began to see less and less out of that eye. In the meantime, I wasn’t being called in for checkups anymore, and I had resigned myself to the fact that I would go blind in that eye. As it turned out later, that wasn’t such a wise decision…. In 1996 (five years later!), my sisters, who had nursing backgrounds, strongly advised me to have that eye checked again, since I could practically no longer see anything with it. So I went to the Eye Hospital in Utrecht. The specialist who examined me was shocked. The diagnosis was changed from benign to likely malignant. Surgery within two weeks!
My birthday on May 16 was a few days before the surgery, and I invited everyone to do something to say goodbye to my eye. I received some really lovely responses—drawings and sweet letters. That’s how I was able to say a beautiful goodbye to my eye.
After the surgery, I had the choice between a glass or a plastic eye. I chose the latter, and Erica Groet made a beautiful eye for me. People who didn’t know me couldn’t tell the difference between it and my real eye. That eye fits me perfectly—both literally and figuratively! Erica adjusts the eye from time to time because my eye socket is shrinking, causing the eye to sit deeper. I wear the eye day and night, and I clean it once a month. Sometimes I almost forget which eye is which, so I hold my hand over one of them to check.
After my surgery, I realized that while I can no longer see the outside world, I can see even more clearly into myself. Because I had gradually lost vision in my right eye over the course of five years, there wasn’t a major change before and after the surgery. Strangely enough, I never worried afterward about whether there might be metastases after all. Of course, I did have that checked!
I also realize that I’m vulnerable and that I could go blind if something were to happen to my good eye. But I’ve already figured out what I can do in that case so I can just keep working from my office. I’m my own boss, and fortunately, that does make things easier.
I still drive without accidents, although I don’t often pass other cars on a normal two-lane road. Long car trips do make my good eye tire more quickly, though. It’s been 16 years since the surgery, and I’m now 68 years old and still working as usual with great clients and very pleasant coworkers. I also have an extra-large computer monitor that works really well.
In short, I’m completely used to my artificial eye and hardly notice it at all. I’ve read that others sometimes have different experiences. I’m grateful that I can still see so well.
