In the midst of all this misery, the Kraaijeveld family came into our lives. They were paired with us as our “buddies.” Father André, mother Yvonne, and the twins Bo and Zoë. Zoë, now 19, also had eye cancer when she was young. She went through virtually the same medical ordeal. As a father, I hope that the comparison doesn’t end there. Because what strength this beautiful young woman possesses! For Milan—and really, for everyone—she is living proof that you’re not defined by what you go through, but by how you respond to it.
Let me give you an example. Last April, Zoë gave an interview to a newspaper. In it, she said, “Living with a disability is just a fact of life for me. I still do everything I want to do, and then I see if it’s possible.”
This interview appeared in the newspaper because Zoë had just become the national korfball champion with the PKC/Vertom A1 team in a sold-out Ahoy! National champion! As in, the best in the whole country. At Ahoy! Not in spite of everything, but thanks to everything. That’s how she put it, and that’s how she played on the court.
I attended the final game at the family’s invitation. After the final whistle, I looked at Yvonne and André and saw them watching Zoë in a way that only parents can look at their children. Later, I asked Yvonne if they had ever thought at first that korfball might not be the best sport for Zoë. She agreed. “Zoë was first asked to take up competitive swimming. She liked korfball better, partly because her sister Bo was going to play it. We often thought that at a higher level, Zoë would struggle with the speed of the game. But she adapted every time.” And she still enjoys playing korfball—which, after all, is what matters most. She sometimes says, “Who knows—if I’d taken up swimming, I might have even competed in the Paralympic Games.”
There’s a beautiful contradiction at the heart of this story. Zoë, who dreams of reaching the highest level in sports, and her parents, who always wondered whether she was ready for the next level. You could say this is a child’s boldness pitted against her parents’ protectiveness. But it’s so much more than that. It was Yvonne and André who gave Zoë the space to explore at every step. To turn her disability into a strength. Despite the fear that she might fall—whether off the boat or on the field. And it’s Zoë who shows Milan, her parents, and the world that you can go a long way with a “Pippi Longstocking” mindset.
Milan is playing volleyball now. He says he’s having fun. He also mentions that he sometimes has trouble judging depth, which means he doesn’t always hit the ball well. And that’s okay. “It just takes a little longer, Dad.” I smile at hearing such wisdom. Something tells me that Zoë started out the same way with korfball. So yeah, it’s totally okay, kid. Enjoy it.
Jan Burger
