Ruth: “It might sound a little strange to say, but I found the process of going from having my eye removed to getting an eye prosthesis to be a really great experience. The prosthesis is truly a kind of gift.”
You should know that I’ve been seeing an ophthalmologist every few weeks since I was ten years old. That’s because I regularly had internal eye inflammation (uveitis) in both eyes. Eye drops were usually enough to control the inflammation. But over time, my right eye did sustain some damage. The inflammation led to cataracts. Subsequently, the lens was removed, I underwent laser treatments, suffered nerve damage, and had high intraocular pressure. Over a long period of time, my vision deteriorated. For about ten years now, I’ve been completely blind in one eye, which was also turned to one side. I have to admit, I’ve never seen that as a major problem and am used to relying on my good eye.
An eye prosthesis?
Even with one blind eye, I’ve continued to visit an ophthalmologist every year. To catch any complications early and check the vision in my good eye. Two years ago, a visiting ophthalmologist asked me if I’d ever thought about getting an ocular prosthesis. No, I hadn’t. I didn’t even know that was an option for my blind eye. Even though I had few problems with my blind eye, over the years it had become very swollen and was also starting to cross. When I also heard enthusiastic stories about others with ocular prostheses, I did become curious. So I decided to ask my own ophthalmologist for a referral for an eye removal surgery. That turned out to be not so simple, because not all ophthalmologists are enthusiastic about permanently removing a blind, but naturally formed, eye. Through a roundabout route, I was finally able to get an appointment at the Eye Hospital in Rotterdam in April 2018.
Go ahead!
From that moment on, things really started to pick up. At the Eye Hospital, I was referred to the right specialist in no time. His response: “I don’t know if we’ll get it perfect, but it’ll always be better than it is now.” “Go for it,” I said. What I was most curious about was what such a prosthesis would look like when my eyes moved. There are plenty of photos online, but moving images are harder to find. That’s how I got in touch with the OOG in OOG Association and met Tonnie Landman. During this appointment, I was able to ask her all sorts of questions and sneak a peek at what her eye looks like “in real life.” I was convinced. And also a little impatient, because the waiting list was about six months. I still don’t know how it happened, but in the end, I was able to have the surgery within two months.
Let’s get started…
Since I’ve had eye surgery several times before, I wasn’t worried about the procedure. While previous surgeries sometimes seemed pointless (operating on a blind eye that remained blind even after the surgery), I was really happy at the thought that this would likely be the last surgery on my eye.
The last thing I remember before the surgery was the eye doctor enthusiastically exclaiming, “Okay, let’s get started!” About an hour later, I woke up with a pressure bandage over my eye. My recovery went very quickly: starting the day after the surgery, I felt pretty good, and I didn’t really have any pain. It was definitely helpful to plan two weeks off work: I got tired quickly in the days following the surgery and couldn’t handle a lot of stimulation very well. After about six weeks, I went back for a follow-up with the ophthalmologist. The main message: you’ll never have to come back… Which is great after 20 years!
A selfie every day
What was nice during those first few days was that every day you got a better idea of what your eye would look like. A temporary glass prosthesis had been inserted during the surgery. But because of the swelling, it looked pretty unsightly the day after the surgery. Every day, the eye became less swollen and less bruised. After a little over a week, the swelling was completely gone.
I usually rarely take selfies, but during those days I took them regularly. Because everyone wanted to see my “new” eye. So every now and then I took a video to see if the eye was moving in sync with the other one. Funnily enough, I had muscle soreness in my eye after the surgery. I had to retrain the muscles in my eye socket: every day, I could move the prosthetic eye a little further to the left, right, up, and down. It never moves in perfect sync, but it’s getting pretty close.
Candy Store
Anyway, my prosthesis was still just a temporary one: a little too blue, a little too small, a little too thin… I first visited two ocularists to have a new ocular prosthesis made. I actually had no idea what to expect. Maybe something halfway between an artist’s studio and a dentist’s office? Well, it certainly has elements of both. But perhaps most of all, it’s like a candy store: bins full of eyes in all kinds of colors and sizes. And everything is custom-made and handcrafted.
Perfectionist
I chose the ocularist who told me, “I’m a real perfectionist; I’ll keep going until we’re both completely satisfied. If that means I have to redo it three times, I’ll do it.” I’m a perfectionist myself, and that’s often a particularly troublesome trait. But this time, it seemed perfect to me… About eight weeks after the surgery, I went to the ocularist to have the prosthetic eye made. Lots of photos, trying on a few test eyes to get the color, size, iris, and sclera just right. And, above all, having someone look very deeply into my eyes… a little uncomfortable!
After a few weeks, the prosthesis was ready. They made a few final adjustments right there on the spot. I’m really impressed by the precision of their work. Still, I went back twice more after that. The positioning wasn’t quite right yet, and the shape of the eye socket kept changing slightly even after the surgery. It took a lot of trial and error to get the correct alignment, fixation, and symmetry of both eyes. By the end of October, the prosthesis was finally exactly as I wanted it. And it looks absolutely beautiful!
Eye Contact
I’ve had the prosthesis for a few months now. It feels very natural. Because my own eye had grown larger before the surgery, it sometimes caused some pressure and irritation. That’s completely gone now. I don’t really even notice that I’m wearing a prosthesis.
But the biggest benefit: making eye contact is suddenly a lot easier. Because of my crossed eye, people often had to figure out which eye to look at. That was distracting during conversations—for both of us. That’s completely gone now, too; my eyes are looking in the same direction again. And that definitely makes talking a lot easier.
