My name is Elma Hocks-Velgersdijk. After undergoing surgery to remove an eye due to an ocular melanoma, I now live with one eye. I live on Curaçao and am married to Francis. Together, we have four (now adult) children. I run an actuarial consulting firm in Curaçao. In October 2019, we opened a bed-and-breakfast in Costa Rica called Dushi Vida Country Inn, with the slogan: “Life is too beautiful not to enjoy.”
Thunderclap
It was March 2018. I’d been having a little trouble wearing my contact lenses for a while and thought, “I’ll just have them checked out.” I went to the eye doctor, assuming it was probably just a burst blood vessel or something like that. But I remember it well. It was a Thursday, and after the exam, the doctor said, “I think it’s an eye tumor, but I don’t have the right equipment to assess this properly.” It came as a complete shock. He continued, “I’ll give you some medication for your eye pressure, and come back on Saturday.” On Saturday: “What I can see has grown. You need to go to the Rotterdam Eye Hospital in the Netherlands on Tuesday. They’re good at treating ocular melanomas there. Oh, and keep in mind that you could lose your eye.” This sounds very harsh, but I was glad for the clarity. How lucky that my ophthalmologist recognized it and reacted so decisively!
Amid all the chaos, I had to make all the necessary arrangements before leaving. Immediately after arriving in the Netherlands, I went straight to the Eye Hospital. By Friday, it was already clear that there was no other option but to remove the affected eye. That happened on Tuesday, and I had a temporary emergency prosthesis (conformer) fitted. At that moment, it all just went right over my head. It was as if it were happening to someone else. After the surgery, I also underwent liver tests. Fortunately, no abnormalities were found.
Thanks to the support of my husband and my children—and the reassurance that they love me unconditionally, with or without an eye—I was able to face everything head-on.
First hurdle
Then I hit my first snag. After a few weeks, you’re allowed to start wearing your permanent prosthesis. But by then, I’d already be back in Curaçao—and on top of that, we were getting married in June. But the kind people at the Eye Hospital made an exception for me and replaced my eye prosthesis with a very beautiful one—not my permanent one yet, but much prettier than the temporary prosthesis that had been inserted after the surgery. That way, we were still able to take some really beautiful wedding photos. These may seem like small things, but at that moment, they were so very important to me! After a few months, we went back to the Netherlands for follow-up appointments, and I received my permanent prosthesis.
A miracle
The doctor predicted that after a few months, my brain would adapt to the new situation and that I would be able to “see” better than I could at that moment. That’s exactly how it turned out for me. Slowly, I got back into the swing of things; I started driving again and regained my independence. I work a lot on the computer, but my body adapted to that as well. At first, my good eye would get tired quickly, but that has improved significantly now. The human body is a miracle.
Lives Saved
When I started having problems with my eye, I had been very happy with my new partner for a few years. He had just proposed to me shortly before that. We went ahead with the wedding in a modified form, and it was a truly beautiful day. I draw the strength to keep going from this relationship, from my wonderful daughters, and from my faith. Sometimes I was angry that this had happened to me just when I was happy. But then I’d think: “No, I needed that happiness to get through this. God put an angel on my shoulder, because everything was detected just in time to prevent the cancer from spreading.” I hold on to this perspective and thought: “I’ve lost an eye, but I’ve gained my life, and I want to make the most of it.” This has helped my husband and me pursue our shared dream of starting a business in Costa Rica. Right now, I travel frequently between Costa Rica and Curaçao—at least as much as Covid-19 allows.
Seeing with One Eye
Aside from a few extra bruises on my right side from misjudging the distance to the table, I have hardly any trouble living and functioning with just one eye. I’ve learned to choose my strategic spots at the table or during a meeting so that I don’t have anyone in my “blind” spot. I just point this out, and I’ve noticed that my colleagues take it into account without needing to discuss it further. Driving on Curaçao isn’t a problem. I do notice, though, that when I’m in the Netherlands, I’d rather not drive with all those cyclists around. I find that some staircases still look like “slides” to me. Fortunately, there’s usually a handrail for me to hold onto. So no, I don’t really feel limited, and I don’t want to see it that way either. Of course, this was preceded by a process of acceptance, during which I did get very angry at times. As for my prosthesis, I’m so happy with it! They make them so beautiful these days, and what a privilege it is that we have access to them. Because it’s a prosthesis on your face, and you have to look good with it so you can shine and smile again.
Helping People
Since I meet very few people on Curaçao who live with only one eye, I thought, “I’ll join the OOG in OOG Association so I can talk with and read about others in the same situation.” It helps me come to terms with the loss of my eye even more—or, in the future, to help others come to terms with it. Many activities are difficult for me to attend because of the distance involved. Fortunately, there are now regular online meetings via Zoom. The only hurdle left for me is the time difference.
In the future, I’d like to make a difference in countries where it’s not a given for many people to wear such a beautiful ocular prosthesis. This beautiful ocular prosthesis has made coming to terms with the loss of my eye a lot easier. People can’t tell that I’m wearing an ocular prosthesis. Only when I’m very tired does my eye close a little. I’m never stared at, and that gives me peace of mind. I tell people about it when I want to.
Life is too beautiful not to enjoy
I’d like to thank my dear family and friends, as well as my very loyal customers in Curaçao. It’s especially thanks to the help of my dear daughters and my wonderful husband that I’ve made it through this time and am living my life as usual. If you ask me what I’d like to say to people: “Look at what you still have, not what you’ve lost.”
